New Beginnings

New Year’s resolutions can be a bit daunting. I heard a friend remark, “Yeah, the ‘I’m going to lose weight this year’ thing just never happens.” So how DO we choose goals for the New Year that have a better chance of happening?

In William Glasser’s Choice Theory, we talk about the 5 Basic Needs:

Love and Belonging

Freedom

Fun

Power/Success

Safety/Survival

If we want to improve our happiness and satisfaction with life, it is important that we are meeting all of our needs. We can think about goals for the coming year in relation to these needs.

Love and Belonging: What is it I want in the coming year with regard to my relationships? Are there new relationships I want to cultivate? What relationships do I want to improve? Are there relationships that are not serving me that I want to change? How is my relationship with myself? Is there a social or support group I want to join?

Freedom: Reflecting on the choices I have been making, are there any I would like to change? Do I want to prioritize more “me” time? More time for exercise? More time for meditation or mindfulness? Is there something/somewhere new I’d like to explore this year?

Fun: Do I want to find more ways to have fun and enjoy myself? Have I been laughing enough? Would I like to play more with my children/spouse/friends? Is there a new game (or game group) I want to create or join? Glasser suggests that one way we experience fun is through learning. Is there something new I want to learn in the coming year? Start a new hobby? Learn a new sport or game?

Power/Success: Have I been feeling successful in my job? In my personal life? In my family life? What is it I can do this year to put me on the path to a greater feeling of success? Perhaps adopting a new routine, a change of job/career, learning new tools to support me, taking a class, hiring a coach.

Safety/Survival: My focus may be on my weight, thinking : “This year, I am going to lose 10 pounds.” But Safety /Survival is so much more! How am I doing with my eating and drinking habits? Am I getting enough sleep? How about exercise? Am I saving enough money to feel comfortable if there is an emergency or for my retirement? Am I putting my oxygen mask on first so I am better equipped to help others meet their needs?

The beauty of the 5 Basic Needs is that they overlap. If my Fun need has really been neglected and I decide I want to play a new sport, like pickle ball, there is a good chance I will satisfy not only my Fun need, but my Love and Belonging need (playing with others), my Power/Success need (getting good at it), and my Safety/Survival need (getting more exercise)!

2023 can be your year of change…you can make 2023 a truly NEW year!